dimecres, 13 d’abril del 2011

Issues with the toilet

These days I've been dealing with an unreliable tank. I knew for some time it was having leaks, but nothing important -I thought- until I got a letter from the water company some weeks ago:

"Dear customer, we have noticed an exceptionally high consumption in the last measurement period. After checking that there was nothing wrong in our water supply infrastructure, we would like to warn you about a potential water leak in your house." (best-effort translation)

Well. No need to say that I ran to the flow meter and quickly checked the number against the latest one. 80m3 ! This means around 1m3 per day, and a good lesson learned the hard way (200 EUR): As important as the toilet is for the urgent stuff, it is just as important as its tank reliability. Is kind of the yin and the yang of toilets.

So, trust me: When you start looking for the right toilet, be a wise man. Balance the niceties that seem to obfuscate women's buying algorithms with some rational reliability criteria applied to the flushing system. Because you never know when one of your guests will end up clogging your toilet. This just happens sometimes...

And, in case none of the toilets are good to your taste, you may consider making one in the garden, just as the great Francesc Vicenç Garcia did. Then, he wrote this poem to honor it:

La monarquia regint
Felip terç que la millora,
se féu esta cagadora,
essent Papa Paulo quint.
En sa traça artificiosa
no posi lo maliciós
la llengua amb zel envejós,
perquè la traurà merdosa.
Si per obres sobiranes
són tinguts los mausoleus,
colossos i colosseus,
memòria de coses vanes.
Ací mil culs retronant
facin memòria perfecta
de l'assalt de la Goleta
i victòria de Llepant.
(from Francesc-Vicenç Garcia, Rector de Vallfogona; by Antoni Mundo i Fuertes; ed. Fundació Roger de Belfort, 1982; p.183)

All the poem is worth a translation. But while you wait for someone to do it, I'll do an attempt to give an english version of the great closing quartet:

Roaring of butts herein
make this a memorial vault
of the Goulette's assault
and also of Lepanto's win.